EddieSnipes.com

Living just east of Crazy

Funny dangling and misplaced modifiers

Written By: Eddie Snipes - Jul• 08•11

 

cat-with-glassesAnimals do the strangest things.

Reading a book, my cat crawled into my lap.

While reading the newspaper, the cat jumped on the table.

The young girl was walking the dog in a short skirt.

The dog was chasing the boy with the spiked collar.

The hunter crouched behind a tree waiting for a bear to come along with a bow and arrow.

The woman walked the dog in purple suede cowboy boots.

We saw dinosaurs on a field trip to the natural history museum.

The guest speaker had dedicated his new book to his dog who was an archaeologist. (And I thought my dog was smart.)

We saw several monkeys on vacation in Mexico.

The library has several books about dinosaurs in our school.

A tarantula bit one of the dockworkers that had a hairy, huge body. (Maybe the guy looked like a rival.)

I glimpsed a rat sorting the recyclable materials.

While doing the dishes, a mouse ran across the floor.

We saw several blue jays looking out our front window.

Strolling hand in hand to the farm, the young bulls broke out of the field and headed toward us. (Maybe they wanted to expand their circle of love)

While camping, I saw a bear in my pajamas.

Having been thrown in the air, the dog caught the stick.

Smashed flat by a passing truck, Big Dog sniffed at what was left of a half-eaten hamburger.

Tom comes across a turtle on his way home from spending four years in prison.

Pygmies hunted elephants armed with spears.

We sat on the porch listening to the birds sing while playing checkers.

While singing hymns, the family dog ran through the church surprising his owners.

Inanimate objects in Action.

Standing on the balcony, the ocean looked so beautiful.

He was staring at the girl by the vending machine wearing dark glasses.

Laughing loudly, the joke pleased the audience. (Some jokes are always good for a laugh)

Oswald and Hilda found the flowers hiking up the mountain.

I found my missing baseball glove cleaning my room.

Don’t try to pat the dog on the porch that is growling.

The smoke alarm went off while cooking my dinner.

Looking out the airplane window, the volcano seemed ready to erupt.

Standing on the dock, the boat didn’t look safe to the sailors.

After a long hot walk, the wonderful shade tree came into view.

While trying to get ready for school, the doorbell rang suddenly.

Reading the book, the characters seemed real to her.

Looking through the telescope, the moon seemed enormous.

Marin watched a radiant sunset climbing a hill.

I found a huge boulder taking a shortcut through the woods.

How did they do that?

I read that Sara was married in the newspaper. (Maybe Sara is a puppy)

Please take time to look over the brochure that is enclosed with your family.

Flying over the African landscape, the elephant herd looked majestic.

We saw the trapeze artist swinging dangerously through our binoculars.

We tiptoed over the ice in our heavy boots, which had begun to crack.

Cartwheeling head over foot, the spectators gasped at the acrobatic spectacle.

Flying overhead, I saw the geese pass by in a V-formation.

We could see corn growing from our car window.

Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope.

People do the strangest things.

Hopping briskly through the vegetable garden, I saw a toad. (She’s a happy gardener)

Sam found a letter in the mailbox that doesn’t belong to her.

My cousin went on and on, describing the details of her wedding in the elevator. (Have you ever tried to get 500 people in an elevator? She has a right to brag)

Mr. Reynolds showed a car to his daughter that had just come off the assembly line.

Sitting on the telephone wire, he saw a meadowlark. (If you want to bird-watch like a pro, go where the birds are.)

Scurrying into the anthill, I watched the ants with amazement. (When the ants noticed him in the hill, they too were amazed)

We rented a boat from my cousin with two motors. (Tell that boy to cool his jets!)

Dressed in a diaper and drooling, grandpa read a book to his granddaughter.

Bruised and beaten by a better fighter, the little girl hugged her father after the boxing match.

Strange Name for a boy.

My parents bought a dog for my brother named Spot.

Probably not the best course of action.

The patient was referred to a psychologist with several emotional problems.

Being only five, the doctor did not know how to operate on me. (Boxing didn’t work, so she took up medicine)

I gave some food to my kitten and chopped it up. (It’s always important to fatten them up before chopping)

The family lawyer will read the will tomorrow at the residence of Mr. Hannon, who died June 19 to accommodate his relatives.

Enjoying a full body experience and other eating disorders.

Covered with hot melted cheese, we ate the pizza.

We saved the scraps of meat for the dog that had been left on our plates.

Covered in mustard and relish, I enjoyed the hot dog.

Covered in cream cheese, my friends will love these bagels.

After eating all their food, we put the cats outside.

Dipped in yogurt, many people love fresh strawberries.

I gave olives to my friend that I stabbed with my fork. (That’s one way to say, “I’m sorry.”)

Sounds Painful.

Smashed beyond repair, Bert saw his watch lying on the court. (At least the watch survived.)

Hanging on the wall, my mom really liked the picture.

Baking in the oven, John waited for the pizza.

The sweater belongs to my best friend that has a V-shaped neck.

I sent a poster to Mom rolled in a tube.

FOR SALE: Mahogany table by a lady with Chippendale legs

Lost: A watch by a lady with a cracked face.

The body was discovered by a hunter with a gunshot wound.

Mrs. Jones was proud that on her first hunting trip, she was able to shoot several animals as well as her husband.

Odd Art

That man bought a rare painting of an Indian with the briefcase.

The model posed gracefully in front of the statue in the designer gown.

That’s just plain weird!

The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5′ 10″, with wavy hair weighing about 150 pounds. (With that much hair, he shouldn’t be hard to pick out of a line up)

Print Friendly

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

12 Comments

  1. Lol. These are great.

  2. Ralene says:

    Oh man, thanks for the good laugh. :)

  3. That was hilarious and also a good reminder of what not to do in writing.

  4. Elizabeth says:

    Hilarious! Dangling and misplaced modifiers are the best! :)

  5. luke says:

    this was hilarious i laughed hard enough to not have my students read these… These were the most stupid things iv ever seen.

  6. jonny says:

    i like dis

  7. Robin Nickerson says:

    This is funny and helpful at the same time.

  8. A few days ago I heard a radio ad from one of those companies who promise to clear folks who owe money to the IRS: “Contact us and we will make arrangements with a tax collector you can live with.”

  9. Karla says:

    Many of these would be awesome acted out in a youtube video or SNL skit!

  10. Charles Bradley says:

    I used to LOVE these when we would discuss these in English class—got a great laugh every time!!

Leave a Reply