EddieSnipes.com

Living just east of Crazy

Archive for the 'Life Stories' Category

Humpty the Rock Star

My parents weren’t fans of cheaply made Halloween costumes. I’d look at the pictures of Superman and beg to buy one of these costumes so I could look like that on Halloween. Instead, Mom would decorate me with varying household objects. One year I was to be Humpty Dumpty. Mom pulled out a pair of […]

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Daddy’s Feet Smell Like Roses

When my oldest daughter, Emily, was four years old, I had an idea. I had a wonderful, awful idea. I taught her that daddy’s feet smell like roses. Being a man of equality and realizing that every action needs an equal and opposite reaction, I decided to prep her for the obvious follow up question: […]

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I have a way with animals

I first discovered my unique talent with animals at the age of six. While waiting for my pal, I played under an old oak tree. Out of the blue, someone pelted my head with an acorn. I looked around, but saw no one. Just as I resumed playing, another one bounced off my bean. A […]

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Those Blasted Drill Sergeants

One thing I quickly learned in basic training is that drill sergeants aren’t the most friendly bunch. They yelled at us to get up. They yelled at us for being too slow. Being too fast. Looking at them. Not looking at them. Eating too slow. Not swinging our arms correctly. These moody guys were nit-picky […]

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Basic Training – My Recruiter Lied

My eyes exploded open from a deep sleep at the sound of a metal garbage can lid slamming into the floor. The loud crash was followed by a drill sergeant screaming, “Why are you all still in bed? You should be in formation. You have three minutes to get dressed, shaved, and in formation.” The […]

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